Still fresh in my memory the time the doctor told us dad had liver cancer. It was a year ago when he was diagnosed, stage 3 to be exact. He underwent chemotherapy and surprisingly got cured because of prayers, healthy foods and the medicines he took, including the best medicine there can be - love.
December 2005. We had our very cold Christmas in the hospital. Dad was diagnosed liver cancer, terminal stage. It was the worst Christmas we had. And then, the worst New Year.
The thought that dad will have to leave us haunted our memories. Slowly as each day had passed, we're faced with the fact that we just had to let him go one day. We knew we had to.
But how does one say goodbye to the person he gets to interact each day? How does one rejoice about all the moments they shared while completely freeing himself from the bitterness of losing someone?
On February 22, 2006 at exactly 3:00 pm dad gave up. He left us because he's just too tired. Even before that day, we knew, he wasn't with us anymore. There were so many questions inside of me. What if I did this? What if I did that? What if I didn't do this? What if I didn't do that? What if dad did this? What if dad did that? What if dad didn't do this? What if dad didn't do that? So many questions left with not a single answer at all.
I thought it's easy letting him go knowing he had suffered enough and had to rest. I was wrong.
For how could it ever be easy being left by someone you love so dearly? How could we ever deny the bitterness of his absence when inside each and every portion inside our humble abode an empty space is missing?
How come we always have to let go of whatever it is that we wanted to keep forever?
December 2005. We had our very cold Christmas in the hospital. Dad was diagnosed liver cancer, terminal stage. It was the worst Christmas we had. And then, the worst New Year.
The thought that dad will have to leave us haunted our memories. Slowly as each day had passed, we're faced with the fact that we just had to let him go one day. We knew we had to.
But how does one say goodbye to the person he gets to interact each day? How does one rejoice about all the moments they shared while completely freeing himself from the bitterness of losing someone?
On February 22, 2006 at exactly 3:00 pm dad gave up. He left us because he's just too tired. Even before that day, we knew, he wasn't with us anymore. There were so many questions inside of me. What if I did this? What if I did that? What if I didn't do this? What if I didn't do that? What if dad did this? What if dad did that? What if dad didn't do this? What if dad didn't do that? So many questions left with not a single answer at all.
I thought it's easy letting him go knowing he had suffered enough and had to rest. I was wrong.
For how could it ever be easy being left by someone you love so dearly? How could we ever deny the bitterness of his absence when inside each and every portion inside our humble abode an empty space is missing?
How come we always have to let go of whatever it is that we wanted to keep forever?
1 comment:
let's just put it this way rose, we can't keep our parents forever and vice versa even though we would want it that way. It must be so hard on you. I can't even promise to do as well as you did if ever death comes face to face with any of my family members.
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