"Will you go to the doctor? I've been worrying about your health", Mama keeps telling Papa.
A few times we told Papa the same thing. He refused to.
It's been more than 15 years since he experienced throwing out bloody bowels. He just said, it's ulcer. He's been taking medicines for that and yet he continues to drink alcoholic drinks, making the medicines of no use at all. He drinks. He smokes. These are his vices... those he couldn't live without.
Till it became more than just bloody bowels. He never gets to eat well for about 3 months. He vomits. He hates the smell of foods cooked in the kitchen when he always loves to eat adobo and almost anything fried. He even argues with mom cooking in the kitchen. He demands that mom do the cooking outside.
Weird.
We all insisted that he undergo a medical examination, alarmed that it's more than just ulcer.
He refused.
"Why?" We're all wondering.
"Wouldn't you wanna know what is it that you are experiencing?"
"Don't you want to get cured?"
Silence.
Well, we can't force him to undergo the examination.
Then came the time when he couldn't anymore convince his own self that it's just ulcer. He collapsed at work. And his workmates insisted that he go to the hospital and undergo laboratory examinations. Noticing that he lost weight as so visible in his appearance, he went to the doctor, alone, without telling my mom.
The next thing we knew he's diagnosed with liver cancer. The worst news in my entire existence. I guess, more worst for my mom. The ailment is on its third stage. Hopeless case.
I knew my mom was the most hurt person among all of us. She loves dad so much.... more than her own life. She prepares my dad's coffee, breakfast, lunch, dinner, toothbrush/toothpaste, underwear, towel, shirts and everything that my dad needs. She's like dad's slave. And she rejoices doing all that. Of course, plus doing her own kids' needs. (Taihen da ne).
We knew no amount of encouragement could ease the pain mom is experiencing. It even appears like she's more hurt than dad.
The doctor privately talked to mom about dad's condition- what is expected of him, things to be done, foods to be taken, medicine, number of months he is expected to live and the like.
Mom returned to our private room like everything is under control.
Then, TACE (Trans-Arterial Chemoembolization ) Chemotherapy for dad as we have agreed.
Dad was taken from his private room to a laboratory where a Japanese interventional radiologist would infuse him a chemotherapy drug.
Before we knew it, he's back to his room with a positive look but with blood on his laboratory gown.
Mom, worrying so much, cried at the sight of dad. And then asked him, "How was it?"."Was it painful." "How are you feeling now?".
Dad just said, "Let me eat first, I am so hungry". He was deprived to eat 2 meals prior to the therapy and all he said he was feeling after the procedure was aching of his stomach due to hunger.
After having his meal, he narrated how so tensed he was prior to the infusion and how well the radiologist did his thing. He was allowed to see the procedure before he was sent to sleep during the entire process. And he's positive that he's getting better because, the dark spots in his liver were almost completely erased. Poor dad. He never really realized that even the good/needed cells inside his body were killed by the infusion.
Then we went back home.
Dad caught fever.
I called his doctor. The doctor told me about fever being an ordinary side effect of the chemotherapy but if he vomits.... it is a dangerous case. I went straight to asking the doctor if dad is going to live longer.
"3-6 months". This was the reply I got. It felt like the whole world is upon my shoulder. I thought my dad's gonna recover from it but I was wrong.
"But I am not a god... I could not really tell. What I'm saying is based on experience and researches."
I immediately packed my things and left the office... secretly told my sisters about what I just learned. We're swearing to each other not to tell anyone... not even mom.
Later, we realized we had to tell mom. So we did. And as expected, my mom already knew it the day the doctor talked to her. Tears flooded again without my dad's knowledge.
We agreed not to tell dad. It will only make things worse. And he will only be discouraged. We tried hard to give him a positive atmosphere. We dined together. All of us, their children, went home the earliest possible time so we could dine together, watch tv and pray.
New foods for dad and the whole family. All veggies and almost zero meat and preservatives.
New routine for all of us- from waking up early in the morning, preparing his special foods and medicines, eating together green leaves and untasty soup, wheat bread, fresh milk, carrots... and yeah, all these stuffs, and returning home early without rendering overtime work when I normally do.
Several nights I cried... sleepless nights, in fact. Several incidents I caught mama in the CR crying. I knew all of us are hurting and worst, we had to hide the pain we're feeling. We were seemingly okay, but deep down each of our inner selves, we're all wounded.
Tried another doctor. Everyone hoping and clinging hardly to that hope.
I found myself crying in the middle of the task I make. I became less effective... too sickly to look at but pushing still.
Then came another series of lab examinations for another chemo session. Alas! The cancer was gone. Like magic? yes, like magic.
No one could explain why. Even the doctors were shocked.
But for us, there was no wondering why that happened. We embraced the good news. No questions asked, just gratefulness to all those who helped and prayed for my father.
Chemo. Medicines. Positive Atmosphere. Good food. Good sleep. No alcohol. No cigarette. Prayers. A combination of these works.
Dad gets back to work. All of us get back to our usual routine with all our senses back to its normal state. Sane again. All of us.
The strongest storm came into the very fascade of our lives. And we're glad it's over. Like a nightmare.
.
This is a true story, in case you're wondering. By the way, Papa had a Chinese doctor who gave him Chinese herbal medicines to help his good cells fight against the strong effects of chemotherapy. He had vitamins for his spleen, liver, and almost all his internal organs. I guess he's (the doctor) of great help. Almost all my dad's foods (including the whole family's) are half-cooked, if not raw. Never really tasty. I would like to thank my friends who have helped me maintain my level of sanity and who have prayed for my father's recovery. All glory to God. Difficulties are God's errands. When we are sent upon them, it is a sign of His confidence.
